Tired of the "not for my family" comments
Ok, I'm in ranting mode. WHY do people rent a film that clearly states why it's rated what it's rated, and then instead of REVIEWING the film, say how inappropriate they found it? I found a comment on a Lewis Black disc that my husband rented about how the comic used vulgar language. UH, yeah. Weren't you familiar with Lewis Black before you rented his DVD? If people can't handle the material then WHY are they members of NF? Maybe they should just sit home and stare at the ceiling. It's called life, people. Get on with it.
Replies to This Discussion
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Permalink Reply by DK Photog on -
I agree Movie Man...but really there are some sneaky scenes in movies every now and again that were not so clearly marked by Netflix or whomever! I'm not opposed to most of them but there is that un-popular family values thing that I have to watch out for because I am a parent (also unpopular in this forum) Didn't ya'll have parents?
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Permalink Reply by DK Photog on
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OK - So is it completely unpopular now to worry about what our kids are viewing?!! Honestly - I really hate being the movie police in our home but it is one of those ugly jobs that Parents do to show our kids that we care about them and are teaching them values - are anyones eyes rolling yet? So they may watch porn with their friends or other low morality movies...it's going to happen no matter what I say to them, I'm not stupid. I really don't have control over most of what they do. But I do want to at least let them know that I think it's not in their best interest.
Well then - bottom line...I do occasionally write in my reviews that there was a nude scene or a sexual moment that I would not want to view with my 15 year old present. I personally think it's OK to read that in other reviews as long as the review is also well written and includes some other "meat" to it. I do watch lots of R rated shows however, when the whole family watches one together I am very careful about what we watch because kids at this age don't need anymore encouragement to condone sex and drugs when they are bombarded by it on all sides. At least at home I teach them values and I let them know when they are old enough, they can watch R rated shows just like I do.
So now am i going to get ugly comments about being a prude? Movies need ratings, and comments from the good folks here at NF so they can properly "handle" the material as you so delicately stated. There are so many good movies that don't have un-family friendly junk that if anyone is staring at the ceiling....I feel sorry for them!
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Permalink Reply by Whatchawatchin on -
This is not directed at you, it's more general. You watching out for your child is what being a parent is about.
No, it's not unpopular for you or I as a parent to worry about what our kids are watching. That's our job. However, if you are that worried about it and don't trust the ratings stick to G movies or watch them first yourself. I think the problem is the people who either think that everything put out there needs to be safe for their kids (based on their definition of safe) and object to the fact that anything they don't want in their homes should be banned. It's everyone else's job to watch out for their kids. No, it's not. If they can't be bothered to watch it and screen it first, then they either don't really care that much and should just get over it or should restrict viewing to things they can be sure of.
The other side of the coin is that people are absolutely vapid concerning teenagers. Oh no, little Timmy can't see a movie with cursing! That would crush his little mind! No, it won't. I have a newsflash. Even if little Timmy is a homeschooled freak, he hears cussing everywhere. Even if he doesn't use it himself (hahaha! reality check needed) he hears it from every other kid he comes into contact with. Get over it. He will see boobs on the internet. Get over it. If, despite all your efforts, a sex scene comes on and it makes you uncomfortable to watch with your kid in the room, be a freaking parent and fast forward to the next scene.
It's like people have decided they don't want to be the bad guy. They don't have the cajones to police their own children so it's everyone else's job to do so. Either pony up and do it yourself or resign yourself to the fact that no one is going to die if one of those things happen.
My son is 17. I don't feel like I have to monitor everything he looks at. Frankly I know that even if I did, he hears and sees worse at school (and has since elementary school). When he was younger, I did watch movies first. I had his computer set up in the family room where I could look over his shoulder at any time and see what he was doing. That's my job and I did it and didn't whine about how none of these things should be available to anyone else.
I also think, my kid and my opinion, not for everyone, that it's more helpful to watch things like that with your child and discuss it afterward. If anyone believes that drugs, sex, violence, cursing...whatever your pet peeve is...are not being loaded at your kid constantly, they are really putting their head in the sand. Just not allowing it to be shown in the house isn't going to teach them anything. I also, again my personal opinion, think that all this freaking out about bodies and sex makes matters far worse. I don't want to watch a porno with my college bound son, but I also don't want him thinking that sex is dirty, embarassing and unnatural and that it's something to be ashamed of. I think a healthy attitude, some parental guidance on things like just how bad you can mess up your life by catching AIDs or having a teenage pregnancy, and some straight talk does a world more of good than just going, bad! Don't touch you freak! If you feel like that you're a pervert!
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Permalink Reply by beeswax on -
Hear, hear, Whatcha. I think you should have a "how to be a parent" seminar.
I know! A reality tv show: Parent Boot Camp. Couples show up, are given an unruly teen for a month, decide whether they should ever have children. You and I can be on the judges' panel.
I will add that, as a childless person, I do mention things that might seem unexpectedly inappropriate in a film. (In the context of a whole review, not as the end-all-and-be-all of my comments.) It comes up sort of rarely, in my experience.
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Permalink Reply by Whatchawatchin on
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I picture people all over this board cringing at the idea of me being involved with anything like that..lol. Yet my kid is a certified genius who also has common sense and is graduating a year early and heading to college without having screwed up.
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Permalink Reply by Whatchawatchin on
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I should also add I agree with your sentiments about saying those things in a review of a PG film. I do the same even though I'm kind of out of those woods with my kid. I will also note when it is suprisingly free of the same. I do both as an addition to an actual review, though. Most of the discussion here is about people who, half of the time, haven't even seen the film they are freaking out about or only go on and on that there was a "dirty" part. Frankly, their idea of dirty and mine are not necessarily the same. Be specific as to what you found offensive and make it part of an overall review. These generic "it's dirty!" reviews don't help anyone because dirty can be anything from full on nudity while injecting heroin into a dead body that's about to be violated with a plumbers snake to they said making whoopy.
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Permalink Reply by DK Photog on
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Wow - things really do run the gamut out there, don't they? If they haven't seen the movie all the way thru then they should state that in their review....golly gee, i think i wrote one of those! Gag....I think it went something like "I was so offended after the first 10 minutes watching this with my daughter that I had to turn it off."
Now that really isn't a review is it? I'm OK with writing a bad review once but never again! ha, ha! Hey, btw I should hurry and go delete that review!!!
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Permalink Reply by Whatchawatchin on
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HA! I admit I've done really dismissive reviews on the other end of the spectrum that, after reflection, really seemed less review and more revulsion at the subject matter I went back and deleted. I watched a couple of Veggie Tales that shipped to me accidentally a while ago and I really wasn't able to sit and form coherent sentences when I wrote the review. Those things creep me out.
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Permalink Reply by DK Photog on
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I agree with most of what you said and I do have a 17 year old son as well. The older my kids have gotten the more crap (and there is good crap too) I will watch with them and it is interesting to have discussions with them or see their reaction. I guess I wanted my kids to grow up gradually and watch age appropriate movies. 17 years old is a person that should be ready for all that cinema has to dish out and I'm sure my son has seen the gamut with or without my approval. I'm on with your vibe Watcha...still I'm OK with parents whining about their nemesis (whatever vice gets them hot and sticky) and stating it in a review. I love freedom of speach and don't care much for whiners.
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Permalink Reply by Robowriter on -
It's not to say the movie should be banned in the first place -- I'm glad the movie was made even if I object to certain bits -- and I never say "skip this film." I should add that the parental-icon notes provided by Netflix are generally quite detailed and good.
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Permalink Reply by Robowriter on
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Amen to that sister! I believe in providing information people want in reviews if I can -- and many parents do want such details when choosing a movie. I try to be coy or creative in expressing such things (I wouldn't say "for the Cleaver crowd") but it beats the pathetic refrain from clueless ultraconservatives such as "These actors weren't holding a prayer meeting throughout the movie and one used a naughty word so once again I am ashamed at the filth Hollywood spews and I denounce Beauty and the Beast as the devil's own primogenital spawn." (I also like it that I can write more creative whiny reviews than those who write the whiny reviews!)
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