#1316 - Weekend at Burnsies - Homer, high on medicinal marijuana, answers the door and asks this question of Ned Flanders - "Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?"
Dr. Hibbert: Your cholesterol level is lethally high, Homer, but I'm more concerned about your gravy level. Homer: Now, wait a second! You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!
Found the quote but not sure what episide this was. I just about died laughing when I first heard this.
#1306 - She of little faith
Homer: So you think you know better than this family, eh? Well as long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! So butter your bacon!
Bart: Yes father.
Lisa: Mom, dad, my spiritual quest is over!
Homer: Hold that thought... Bacon up that sausage, boy!
Bart: But dad, my heart hurts!
Otto and Homer in the medicinal marijuana episode:
Otto: "You know, they call 'em fingers, but you never really see them 'fing' "
(hours later, now it is night time and they haven't moved, just continually stood looking at their hands)
Otto: "Oh there they go"
Homer: ...wait, I'm no missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus! Let me out!
Pilot: Sorry. No can do.
Homer:(Tries to open door, is thwarted by lock) Oh, save me Jebus!