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#1316 - Weekend at Burnsies - Homer, high on medicinal marijuana, answers the door and asks this question of Ned Flanders - "Could Jesus microwave a burrito so hot that he himself could not eat it?"

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Dr. Hibbert: Your cholesterol level is lethally high, Homer, but I'm more concerned about your gravy level.
Homer: Now, wait a second! You doctors have been telling us to drink eight glasses of gravy a day!

Found the quote but not sure what episide this was. I just about died laughing when I first heard this.

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#1306 - She of little faith
Homer: So you think you know better than this family, eh? Well as long as you're in my house you'll do what I do and believe what I believe! So butter your bacon!
Bart: Yes father.
Lisa: Mom, dad, my spiritual quest is over!
Homer: Hold that thought... Bacon up that sausage, boy!
Bart: But dad, my heart hurts!

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"dog school trainer to santa`s little helper"
why you son of a bitch good show

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Oh no, i'm going to crash the site now! this is my favorite tv show. I'd have to start with this one:

(after Lisa helps Mr. Burns get back on his feet with the recycling plant and kills animals for slurry, etc.)

Lisa: I was a fool to try and help him.
Homer: I hope that you earned your lesson Lisa; never help anyone.

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#1803 - Please Homer, Don't Hammer Em'

Marge: Homer! Your butt just gave me a brilliant idea!
Homer: Yep, it'll do that.

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Little Ralphie Wiggum: "Fireworks make my ears yell."

-- The Simpsons: Hit & Run video game.

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Otto and Homer in the medicinal marijuana episode:

Otto: "You know, they call 'em fingers, but you never really see them 'fing' "
(hours later, now it is night time and they haven't moved, just continually stood looking at their hands)
Otto: "Oh there they go"

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From Midnight RX.

Grandpa: "Now who's next? I've got pills to make you sleep late, coagulate, eliminate, and copulate. In that order."

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Under Homer's picture in his high school yearbook:

"I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

Sports: None
Activities: None
Honors: None

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I'm not NOT licking toads.( Homer as a missionnary)

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Homer: ...wait, I'm no missionary! I don't even believe in Jebus! Let me out!
Pilot: Sorry. No can do.
Homer:(Tries to open door, is thwarted by lock) Oh, save me Jebus!

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