Afro Samurai: Season 1

The concept behind this (i.e. mixing hip hop, martial arts and anime) is a pretty strong one. It’s a shame that not nearly as much care went into making the characters and plot as strong in the execution. The end result is something I would have undoubtedly loved in my early 20s; some pretty cool and kinetic visuals set to RZA beats. The graphic violence and profanity-laced dialogue were also a welcome addition. But I guess I’ve matured (or something) in the interim years and need a little more now.

Monster of London City / Mystery of the Red Orchid: Double Feature

Two more German krimis are available for rental. Both of these films have strong and involving plots that held my interest throughout. What really struck me about the murder scenes in these two films was just how dispassionately they were presented. As is often the case, this just made me notice how much more sexualized murder scenes would become in the later Italian gialli and the modern American thrillers they’ve influenced. In Red Orchid, the viewer is treated to early performances from Christopher Lee and a very young looking Klaus Kinski.

Monster of Venice

This was my first krimi, the German predecessors to the Italian gialli cycle that began in the late 60s. MoV confirms what I’ve read about this genre; it is more plot and dialogue heavy and much tamer in its exploitive elements compared to the gialli. There were some nice stylistic touches like an artful use of shadows and the familiar shots of the killer’s walking feet that helped to set the mood for this tale of a Jeffrey Dahmer type killer who is terrorizing Venice. Unfortunately, the movie suffers from some seriously bad pacing and incredibly poor editing that could have been much tighter. Undaunted, I hope to find better examples of the krimi as Monster of Venice is a truly substandard entry.

80 Minutes

I think I liked this premise better when it was called Crank starring XXX-TrEmE(TM) bald dude Jason Statham. Oh wait! I liked it even better back when it was called the D.O.A remake starring Dennis Quaid. Great Balls of Fire!! I think Ive finally got it: I liked this premise the very best when it was called the first D.O.A starring Edmond OBrien way back in 1950. 58 years ago when this story line was actually original. Dems were the days, I tells ya.

The Eroticist

Puppis. Puppis. Puppis. Lucio Fulci was much more of a versatile director than just his most noted "gore" films would suggest. He also lent his eye for evocative imagery and cinematography to other Italian genres like the gialli and even sex comedies. The latter included La Pretora, starring the impossibly gorgeous Edwige Fenech, and this hyper cynical one that was also marketed under the title The Senator Likes Women. Puppis. Puppis. Viewers should keep in mind that the political climate of Italy in the 60s and 70s was one of profound disillusionment with a broken government and a sense that the country was teetering out of control from rampant crime and kidnappings. Puppis. Puppis. This was reflected in even the genre cinema of the time and Fulci's comedy is as apt example as any. No one is spared; politicians, the police, the military, the Catholic church, women, the Italian masses are all skewered without mercy. Its hilarious! Puppis. Puppis. In contrast other Italian sex comedies I've seen, the plot of this one is much more complex and involved. It is further buoyed by some well made dream sequences that has Fulci even dabbling in some nunsploitation. Acting performances are top notch and the cast notably includes the great character actor Lionel Sanders (from the old Hart to Hart TV series) and the stunning Swedish beauty Anita Strindberg among other top shelf Eurocult beauties. Sadly, the former's signature raspy voice is missing as he was dubbed into Italian. Even viewers that are not huge fans of other Italian sex comedies should give this one consideration as it is a unique and entertaining gem from a bygone era. Puppis. Puppis. Puppis.

The Heroin Busters

Another Castellari/Testi collaboration in the Italian crime genre. Like The Big Racket, this one is full of entertaining and well executed action scenes and nice sleazy touches that only the Italians of the 70s seemed able to pull off! Furthering my commentary on Fabio's distinct lack of bada$$ness, I was amused to see that he grew a beard for this flick. Beards are a potent testosterone enabler, to be sure, but Fabio's issues are much deeper than that. And some of his wardrobe selections in this one really have to be seen to be believed. As does the minor character sporting the really bad toupee. Looking beyond my superficial hang ups, this movie is a solid Castellari action flick and worth the rental.

The Big Racket

Castellari's action epic drips with style from the very first frame and rarely lets up on that front throughout. There is a great scene filmed inside a car that careens and starts flipping over that is more technically complex than anything I've seen in other poliziotteschi of that time. But Castellari's higher production values do not come at the expense of standard 70s Italian exploitation staples including several outrageously titillating rape scenes. This is all set to one of the DeAngelis Bros finest percussive rock soundtracks. However, the film suffers from one major flaw: the casting of Fabio Testi. Testi, simply put, is a lover and not a fighter. He is completely noncredible as a bad a$$ cop and that fact compromises many scenes that were undoubtedly designed to come off as intense but instead produce unintentional laughs.

Daniella by Night

Three ingredients for making an entertaining movie can include mannequins, Elke Sommer, and criminal activity amongst fashionable high society. Unfortunately, despite this film containing all three of these elements, the resulting product is wholly unremarkable and extremely tedious to boot. Did I mention that Elke gets bound and gagged on a bed? That there is an extended topless act set in a Parisian nightclub? That an admittedly cool loungy jazz score causes one to pause from their intention of fast forwarding through the dull and meandering plot? My guess is that Daniella By Night was an early example of Euro sexploitation, back when there was still an attempt at plot and production values to keep things "respectable" as the brief flashes of nudity flashed by our eyeballs. Thinking about that can help make the viewing more interesting, but that is an awful lot to task a casual viewer with. This puppy is recommended for completists and other obsessives only.

Cold Eyes of Fear

This early giallo from future Italian action maestro Castellari is a tepid and boring affair. It is full of incredibly cheesy audio and visual editing that Castellari experimented with before he eventually decided on apeing Peckinpah as "his" signature style in his later and better known works. The movie has a promising start with the knife attack on sultry Karyn Schubert by the killer but the plot soon devolves into an overtalky tedium bereft of any real action or intrigue. Even among mid tier gialli, CEOF is pretty bad. Aside from the typically strong Morricone sdtk, some viewers may find the hokey dream/hallucination sequences hilarious. The extras on the DVD include an overlong and unnecessary 9 minute(!) video introduction full of silicone boobs covered in fake blood BS and the original trailer, which happens to be psychedelic as all f**k. Too bad the movie doesn?t quite live up to it. Barely a three star due to my weakness for arty cheese.

Substitute 2: School's Out

Tired C list action star Treat Williams takes over the helm from tired B list action star Tom Berenger in this unrelated and uninspired sequel. Little of the humor that made the original so entertaining is found here. Instead we have a thin plot stretched out with scenes of extraneous dialogue and sub plots that go nowhere. Most of the players seem to phone in their performances as they cash their paycheck. In the Extras (that actually list Subtitles as an Extra?!?), the production notes inform us that Treat Williams went to a prep school in Connecticut and that his school never experienced the problems that his character faces in the film. This aptly describes the believability of his performance in the film.